Glimmer of hope for turkies at Xmas

From the Daily Express:

No wonder Terence the turkey keeps himself apart from his pals. He’s not going to be a Christmas dinner.  The lucky bird managed to dodge being someone’s main course because he has become one of the family down at the farm. 

Farmer Roger Barron, 53, and wife Marianne, 49, are so attached to him they’ve invited him for Christmas.  At their turkey farm in Essex, Marianne said: "There was something different about him.  He was more brazen, jumping on bales of hay, squawking and showing who was leader of the pack."

Before long he was coming into the family home for food. Marianne said: "I couldn’t bear having him slaughtered with all the rest.  So Terence is going to be guest of honour at our dinner table. He will have a special place laid. While we’re tucking into one of his old pals, he’ll be feasting on a plateful of grain. He won’t get any bubbly, though. We don’t want a drunken bird. After all, the cure would be cold turkey."

Meanwhile, less fortunate turkies are getting their own back on humans from beyond the grave.

Cat by name, burglar by nature

Beware dear readers if you see this cat or any of it's kind about, your Xmas pressies might be at risk! The BBC are reporting the continuation of the animal crime wave sweeping the planet. Frankie has no regard for the Christmas spirit and has maliciously been stealing toys left, right and centre. Please guard your presents if you see a cat about!

Foreigners attack christmas

A shocking attack on Christmas has been reported in Bath. Rogue American Squirrels have attempted to destroy Christmas after an assault on the rotary club Christmas lights.

Revenge is on the minds of the Rotary club, a member said "they have got our bulbs but we will get their nuts"

A political storm has also been felt after this criminal activity, Mr Daniel Lake, a University of Bath BNP activist (07856 335201) said " this is typical of these Yankee foreign invaders, they have no respect for our culture and traditions, they should be thrown out of the country"