A coo for anti-pigeon smuggling efforts

Australian authorities have finally caught a member of an elusive pigeon smuggling ring - and they nabbed him literally with his pants down.

For trapped in each trouser leg was a pigeon trying to enter Oz illegally.

The pigeon mastermind behind the ring is still at large.

An arresting officer told Animal News:

The pigeons thought they could smuggle themselves into Australia by being hidden down under. The dude's socks were full of guano. We got them in the end but it was a bit hairy. And I'm not just talking about the legs!

This is not the first time that pigeon criminals have been caught in a smuggling ring, and their crime also extends to spying. But the last animal airport smuggling scheme we heard about was a monkey passing for a baby bump. Will this animal crime wave never end?

Hat tip: Doug

Chirac taken down by depressed Maul-tese pet dog

From Perez Hilton:

Woof! That must have hurt!

According to new reports, 76-year old former French president, Jacques Chirac, was hospitalized after he was mauled by his 'clinically depressed', little, white Maltese pooch, Sumo. Yes, Sumo as in the Japanese sport. The ex-pres was apparently fascinated by sumo wrestling!

The elder statesman is expected to make a full recovery. Can we just pause for a minute, though. How the fuck is a dog "clinically depressed"?????? And how do you treat that????

The former president's wife, Bernadette, told the media, "The dog went for him for no apparent reason. We were already aware the animal was unpredictable and is actually being treated with pills for depression. My husband was bitten quite badly, but he is certain to make a full recovery over the coming weeks."

Mrs. Chirac did not reveal where on his body the former pres was attacked. Sumo was given to Chirac as a gift from his gandson. What's going to happen to Sumo? Eternal sleep????

Cat by name, burglar by nature

Beware dear readers if you see this cat or any of it's kind about, your Xmas pressies might be at risk! The BBC are reporting the continuation of the animal crime wave sweeping the planet. Frankie has no regard for the Christmas spirit and has maliciously been stealing toys left, right and centre. Please guard your presents if you see a cat about!

Beavers and buttheads

While many loggers are buttheads (and a few bloggers too) - some are just beavers, as Polish police recently discovered:

Green campaigners called police after discovering an illegal logging site in a nature reserve – only to find the culprits were a gang of beavers.

Environmentalists found 20 neatly stacked tree trunks and others marked with notches for felling at a beauty-spot in Subkowy, northern Poland.

But when officers followed a trail left by a tree which had been dragged away, they found a beaver dam right across the river as reported by the Austrian Times.

A police spokesman said: "The campaigners are feeling pretty stupid. There's nothing more natural than a beaver."

It sure is a dam shame that natural beaver behaviour involves resorting to crime!

I didn't do it, it was the sheep gov

I've done it, i bet you've done it too. When it all goes wrong blame a sheep!

Keith Ellet (mechanic) has however taken it to a new level. He has blamed local hooligan sheep for a fire costing him a staggering £275,000. Even more unfortunately for poor old Keith he wasn't insured. We bet those pesky sheep didn't give a damn as they ruined his livelihood. Prison terms for arsonist sheep is what we say.

Another cat hitches a ride

The BBC reports on Tilly, yet another cat to get trapped in an inappropriate part of a car. In common with our exposé on cats that get trapped in engines, Tilly has also managed to hitch a long distance ride with an unsuspecting motorist.

A cat has used up one of its nine lives after getting stuck behind the front grille of a car and surviving for 70 miles on a trip from Surrey to Sussex.

Now that we are at 15 incidents, Animal News is starting to wonder whether these events are more than a coincedence... Is all this car tres-puss orcherstrated by a master mog? Are we dealing with feline felony here?

And it's not just cats that like to travel! In related news, Hike the Border Collie became estranged from his owner when he caught a bus for a 20 mile trip to the seaside. One local resident quipped: "He must be barking mad to take the number 11 bus. He should have used a taxi."

Spending all day at the seaside sounds like a dog's life to us!

The mystery of the disappearing water

Unknown source:

"Jennifer and Jim kept getting huge water bills. They knew beyond a doubt that the bills weren't representative of their actual usage, and no matter how they tried to conserve, the high bills continue. Although they could see nothing wrong, they had everything checked for leaks or problems; first the water meter, then outdoor pipes, indoor pipes, underground pipes, faucets, toilets, washer, ice maker, etc, all to no avail.

"One day Jim was sick and stayed home in bed, but kept hearing water running downstairs. He finally tore himself from his sick bed & went to investigate, and stumbled onto the cause of such high water bills.

"Apparently this was happening all day long when they were not at home. Knowing that few would believe him, he taped a segment of the 'problem' for posterity!"



Hats off: Sabine

Could this be Robin Hood reincarnated as a bear?!

Woburn Safari Park, Bedfordshire, was momentarily transformed into medieval Sherwood Forest when a bear tore a hub cap from one car - in order to give it to a driver whose own hub cap had been stolen.

The giant black bear had initially sparked fear among zoo visitors driving past him when he began tearing at one car's hubcaps.

They didn't realise his efforts, although misguided, were actually aimed at helping others.

Gift in mouth, the animal lumbered over to a woman in a car behind, whose hubcaps had been stolen weeks earlier (at the hands of nasty humans, we presume).

'It put the hubcap down and then banged on the window, as if it was trying to get my attention,' said motorist Azra Noonari.

'It was almost like it wanted to give me the wheel cap.'

Not since the days of fellow forest-dweller Robin Hood have we seen such heartfelt banditry!

Foreigners attack christmas

A shocking attack on Christmas has been reported in Bath. Rogue American Squirrels have attempted to destroy Christmas after an assault on the rotary club Christmas lights.

Revenge is on the minds of the Rotary club, a member said "they have got our bulbs but we will get their nuts"

A political storm has also been felt after this criminal activity, Mr Daniel Lake, a University of Bath BNP activist (07856 335201) said " this is typical of these Yankee foreign invaders, they have no respect for our culture and traditions, they should be thrown out of the country"

Give this octopus an asbo!

• juggling hermit crabs
• trying to smash open his aquarium with a rock
• feng shui against the wishes of tankmates
• causing blackouts with well aimed water jets...

...all in a day's anti-social behaviour for Otto the Octopus.

Pigeon drug smuggling ring busted in Bosnia

It is often said that pigeons are the crime masterminds of the animal world - and there has certainly been no shortage of pigeon crime reported by Animal News (see here).

In the latest twist of this feathered crime wave, a pigeon drug baron is now behind bars after being caught smuggling heroin into a Bosnian prison.

The Brisbane Times quotes Zenica prison official Josip Pojavnik:

"The guards suspected the animal might be involved in drug smuggling once they noticed four prisoners visibly intoxicated shortly after the pigeon landed on a prison window... We do not know what to do with the pigeon, but for the time being it will remain behind bars."

The drugs are suspected to originate in the town Tuzla, a location some 70 km from Zenica prison. But with the suspected pigeon offender behind bars, it would seem that animal crime really doesn't pay.

Goats spared trial after being relased from prison

Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo: In Kinshasha, the rule of law is not limited in its enforcement to humans - goats can fall foul of justice too.



But a gang of goats being held in prison on charges of being sold illegally by the roadside have attracted the mercy of Deputy Justice Minister Claude Nyamugabo. Mr Nyamugabo, who came across the goats on a routine prison visit, ensured that the crime-committing animals were released on condition that they promised not to reoffend.

Pigeons in animal-espionage shocker

Tensions between Iran and the animal world have been sent to breaking point with the shocking arrest of two pigeons at Natanz, near Iran's uranium enrichment facility. Iran claims the pigeons were sent on a spying mission with high tech 'metal rings' and 'invisible string'.

There is currently no news on where the inmates are being kept, or their condition.

This is the latest in a line of arrests of animal visitors to the country. In July 2007 14 squirrels were detained on the Iranian border alleged of spying for the enemy.

Shocking sexual attack on penguin by seal

From BBC news:

An Antarctic fur seal has been observed trying to have sex with a king penguin.

The South African-based scientists who witnessed the incident say it is the most unusual case of mammal mating behaviour yet known....

Why the seal attempted to have sex with the penguin is unclear. But the scientists who photographed the event speculate that it was the behaviour of a frustrated, sexually inexperienced young male seal....

"At first glimpse, we thought the seal was killing the penguin," says Nico de Bruyn, of the Mammal Research Institute at the University of Pretoria, South Africa....

De Bruyn and a colleague were on Trypot beach at Marion Island to study elephant seals when they noticed a young, adult male Antarctic fur seal, in good condition, attempting to copulate with an adult king penguin of unknown sex.

The 100kg seal first subdued the 15kg penguin by lying on it.

The penguin flapped its flippers and attempted to stand and escape - but to no avail.

The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin, and thrusting its pelvis, trying to insert itself, unsuccessfully.

After 45 minutes the seal gave up, swam into the water and then completely ignored the bird it had just assaulted, the scientists report.

Why a fur seal would indulge in such extreme sexual behaviour is unclear....

But this is thought to be the first recorded example of a mammal trying to have sex with a member of another class of vertebrate, such as a bird, fish, reptile, or amphibian....

Marion Island is the only place in the world where Antarctic fur seals are known to hunt king penguins on land, so the idea that the fur seal was trying to eat the object of its attention made sense.

"But then we realised that the seal's intentions were rather more amorous."

The researchers speculate that the male seal was too young to win access to female seals, and in a state of sexual excitement, looked elsewhere....

The penguin did not appear to have been injured by the seal, the scientists report.

Animal Crimewave Continues

Raccoon Thief

Theft of doormats by Racoons has left householders in several US states slipping all over their porches this month, as the Global Animal Crimewave continues.  If you see any racoons in possession of doormats please call the AmazingAnimalNews Crime Hotline on 0800 111 1111.  

Have YOU got a bat in your bra?

Watch out bats about! Signs the housing market crisis is beginning to hit even the animal kingdom have been felt in Norwich. A big bosomed Norwich resident, Miss Stephanie Hawkin was shocked to find that a bat moved into her bra.

‘It looked very snug in there and I thought how mean I was for disturbing it." she said to reporters.

Amazing animal news advises all readers to look out for unusual movement inside your underwear.

Read more at the daily mail

It's Official: Animal Crime On The Rise - Violent Badger Destroys Lives

Violent Teen Badger Hooligan

Innocent Badger Victim

A rogue badger attacked five people during a 48-hour rampage in a quiet suburb Thursday.

One man required two skin graft operations, after the badger woke him up and attacked him when he went outside to investigate.

Other victims included a man who was attacked as he walked home from a pub, in Evesham, Worcestershire.

Mike Weaver, from the Worcestershire Badger Society, said: "I have never heard of anything like this in 24 years of work with badgers throughout the UK."

Click here for more details.

Walkers urges vigilence in wake of shoplifting seagull

Aberdeen, Scotland: Sammy the Seagull brazenly steals pack of Doritos in front of several pigeon witnesses. This is literally daylight robbery!