Panda Attacks!

We at Amazing Animal News often comment on how rubbish pandas are. "They eat nothing but bamboo and can't reproduce for love nor money," we would often holler across the office. So you can imaging the surprise when Pete Billcliff, our current intern and budding young animal journalist, informed us that a vicious Panda has recently attacked not one, not two, but three people.

Gu Gu the Panda' most recent victim was the hapless Mr Zhang Jiao of China who fell over a 5 foot wall into the blood thirsy animal's pen while trying to catch, you guessed it, a toy panda. While we here in the UK spend every waking hour filling in risk assessments and COSHH forms, it's clear that there's certainly no panda-ing to health and safety in China.

Displaying characteristic Chinese patriotism and confucian philosophy, Mr Zhang said, "The panda is a national treasure, and I love and respect [him], so I didn't fight back," Zhang said. "The panda didn't let go until it chewed up my leg and its mouth was dripping with my blood."

Sea Lion can write his own seal

We've all heard of spelling bees, and Animal News told the world about painting elephants - but get ready to be amazed by the sea lion who can write Chinese!

Digital Journal has more:

Peter the writing sea lion, is the pride and joy of the staff at Ningbo Zoo, China. It took them three months to teach him to write in Chinese. Is he ready now for the big time and signing checks? ...

This very special six-year-old male sea lion can write the Chinese character for a “bull” and can sign his own unique ‘sea lion” seal. He can actually hold the seal and stamp it on paper as a signature that sort of reads: ‘Peter was here.’

It is expected that Peter will demonstrate his writing skills for tourists during the up and coming Spring Festival at the zoo, but currently permission has not yet been granted by his agent, Harry, the orangutan, and his attorney, Martin Van Parrot, both of whom reside a few cages down.

And who said you can't teach an old (sea) dog lion new tricks???

Couple waddle down the aisle in rare penguin marriage

Marriage rates for humans may be going down, but wedding planners needn't panic as they may have plenty of penguin business coming their way - because penguin matrimony is definitely on the up!

Little Brat and Little Beauty recently got married in a Chinese zoo and are looking forward to a life of wedded bliss.

One insider told Animal News: "I think Little Brat just did it for the tax breaks, he's not a romantic. But Little Beauty just loves confetti! I think that was her main motivation."

A more cynical onlooker had another take on the affair: "Penguin marriage may be increasing but that just means one thing - get ready for a whole lot of penguin divorce!"

It's a hen, for cluck's sake!

Yet another outbreak of cross-species canoodling! (see here and here)

The Pakistan Daily Times reports:

A hen in China has reportedly shacked up with a dog to help raise its three newborn puppies.

Owner Yang said the hen moved into the dog’s kennel after it gave birth last month. Since then, the hen refuses to leave the kennel, staying inside all day and only walking out when the dog is nursing its puppies.

Yang says the hen is very protective of the puppies and refuses to allow strangers to come close to the kennel. The dog seems to have given up the idea of driving the stubborn intruder out and has decided to share the space with the hen.

That hen is doggone crazy! But the dog might be feeling a tad hen-picked...

Snout for trout

From the wires:

A pig in China has started to catch fish from a pond for its supper.

Han, the pig's owner, created a small pond for breeding tropical fish, at her home in Dahangou village, Zhenping. She gave up on the venture when the market price for the fish dropped - but found she still had one eager customer.

"I was amazed to see that the pig I raised is helping himself to fish from the pond," she told the Eastern Asia Trade and Economic News. "It steps into the shallow water, catches fish in its mouth and happily eats them on the spot."

Han said she was happy for the pig to help itself to the fish rather than let them go to waste. "Maybe it just decided it wanted a bit more protein in its diet," she added.

Well Lucky

A water buffalo in Liuzhou, China had a lucky escape recently after its obsession with the very thing it's named after got out of hand, and he fell down a well. Villagers who winched the hapless bovine beast back up using the well's rope said that while it was an unfortunate incident, the animal's plight pails into insignificance compared with the most recent animal disaster on their collective when 3 wart hogs got stuck in a chimney.