Chirac taken down by depressed Maul-tese pet dog

From Perez Hilton:

Woof! That must have hurt!

According to new reports, 76-year old former French president, Jacques Chirac, was hospitalized after he was mauled by his 'clinically depressed', little, white Maltese pooch, Sumo. Yes, Sumo as in the Japanese sport. The ex-pres was apparently fascinated by sumo wrestling!

The elder statesman is expected to make a full recovery. Can we just pause for a minute, though. How the fuck is a dog "clinically depressed"?????? And how do you treat that????

The former president's wife, Bernadette, told the media, "The dog went for him for no apparent reason. We were already aware the animal was unpredictable and is actually being treated with pills for depression. My husband was bitten quite badly, but he is certain to make a full recovery over the coming weeks."

Mrs. Chirac did not reveal where on his body the former pres was attacked. Sumo was given to Chirac as a gift from his gandson. What's going to happen to Sumo? Eternal sleep????